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On Letting Go

by Big Bad

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1.
Proud Of Me 01:39
When you try to be so proud of me, I blow it You said we could be happy, I don’t know yet I think you want to be so proud of me You can’t be too proud of me Because I’ve got all these words, all this time They could be yours, they can’t be mine Because I’ve got all this stuck, in my head In my bed, I’ll stay You met the wrong person at the right time How could I love you and not want you at the same time? I just want you to be proud of me But I’m not so proud of me Mandy, You’ll always have me I’m sorry I can’t find the puzzle pieces Of the life I should believe in Mandy, I’m glad you’re happy Now that you’re gone I made a joke of my life Why aren’t you laughing? If you’d just hate me Then I, I could stop acting Cue the end credits in black and white How could I love you and not want you at the same time?
2.
Try Anything 03:30
You’re so sure Of a life abjured Of the pain we earned Of the love we spurned I’ve heard your words I’m sure You’ve got the power to frame this your own way I’m positive, I’m sure, I’m negative, I’m okay You’re stalling out no matter what I say Try something, Try anything All my life I’ve been the one Who has the worst things to say about myself The best life, the worst life, I can’t tell All the fear I’ve used to build my hell I’m not sure You might’ve been the cure For what I can’t endure For what my thoughts ensure I’ve heard your words I’m sure I know I’m not who I thought I would be But each day, each dawn, I know I might find me
3.
So Scary 00:51
Hope you still like Hitchcock Hope you still like Mary Berry Hope you find everything that you need for yourself Because life without you’s scary (So scary) Summer in the city You’re not by my side For the late night swims and the morning light (So scary) And if that’s my future, will I be all right? Would you prove me wrong? Could you stay the night?
4.
Call a witness to bring this order What’s the reason I’m still waiting? I’ll give you time to think this over What’s the reason that you’re waking up? I spent my nights by the phone, all alone Thinking, “What do I do to make it ring?” I spent my nights by the phone, all alone Thinking, “What do I do that makes me this way?”
5.
This is my depression song About the numbness I feel When I should feel something like your love Like the times when I didn’t need to feel alone, but I did Every sound in the city screams your name, out of tune Out of sync with my memories of those days Someday I might control my health Try not to give up on myself Reflect and recapture Feels like nothing else matters Is your faith in me shattered? Feels like nothing else matters I won’t be alone When I think of this place Your hand in mine and what’s after Feels like nothing else matters
6.
My life is ending Tell me what was it like? Did I keep it all together? Inside? Outside? Most of the time? This time next year I think I’ll come back to life And find my next new beginning with hope, with doubt Without you I can start over I make a better living than I’ve ever made before And live a worst life cause I can’t fight the confusion at my core Find new street under my feet And think that means starting over But there’s something in my head that says I’m never getting better My heart beats a little now Does that mean I’m still alive? My heart beats a little now And I’ll be all right As long as you’re happy I’ll pretend to be happy
7.
Dead Weight 03:07
Complacency trumps honesty Compromise integrity I’ve been trying desperately But I can’t think straight All of my anxieties Clash with your abilities Wrecks my credibility And all my best days I miss you more than I can say You’re the light in my life and I’m a bad day What’s to blame for this inequity? Alcohol or chemistry My overwhelming pleasantries And all of me is dead weight You told me they wrote a song I wrote you a better one Take your places everyone You’re bound to my fate (There’s a ship in the harbor With your name written on her Sinking down a bit farther…)
8.
It’s midnight in London, first of the year But I can’t escape my biggest fear From Kentish Town to Whitechapel I’m in favorite city, I’m all alone Because somewhere on the road to Highgate I really start to wonder if I’m living out my fate A Julian Barnes novel I’ve read before What’s missing is someone to share this with me You know that my someone you always will be It’s summer in New Jersey Family appears With every introduction I wish you were here From Paterson to Ocean City I really start to wonder if you’ll ever be with me A Frankie Valli song I’ve heard before I’ve heard this before
9.
I wish I wrote protest songs about bigotry And phobias masked as policies Dismantling capitalist legacies Denials of our human rights I wish I wrote songs that mattered to more than me And inspire generations yet to be To rise up, fight, and march the streets And take the power from the top But sha-la-la, it’s another pop song About my love for you and how that went wrong For three whole years I tried my best to show a different view And found that every song I write, I write for you I wish I wrote songs like the ones that let me know They keep us down with the boot while they put on a show About American dreams achieved and grown If you just work enough, you might get your own I guess I just can’t sing I just can’t write About oppression that we see and learn to fight And use my voice to sing something to change your life But the words change from the start Just let wait here in the background Until I know what I’m trying to say You know I know I’m not one to make things easy
10.
Because you know me You know what it’s like And why I can’t get it right on a Saturday night I can’t go out I can’t stay home Because with them, with you, with me I’m alone Every time there’s a crush There’s a rush, there’s a lie Every time we got close I got scared, wondered why? When we listen to Bruce songs I sing ‘em to you Everything’s all right When you’re gone, sing along I’m still singing for you Each and every night Color in all the lines In your heart, leave some space Use the shades of the night Take us back to our place I died last summer when I saw your face In a strange context, in a better place There’s still one thing I can do to show you my love Say goodbye forever Let you move on
11.
Because I miss you I don’t know what to do I just keep walking ‘round in circles Hope I run into you Because I miss you I don’t know what to say I know a simple song can’t right my wrongs I write anyway But there’s a hole in the plot A leak in the obvious I missed my chance to say I wanted to make time for us It’s all I had to do to make it right Right, I get it, I blew it when I had the chance I know I was wrong There’s a time, a place, where I could be better Please don’t say that it’s gone I miss you every day In a million, billion different ways You’re all that I can see from ship to shore
12.
You’re moving on I’m moving up and down Try not to see you when you’re not around Play different music on the stereo A book I wrote on letting go Can’t feel it yet but know that this is right Try not to see you in my dreams at night Your photograph won’t give me vertigo A film I made on letting go But if there’s anything you want, you got it That’s my promise Made so long ago If that means that I watch you go free Please believe me I want you to know That’s why they call it love Cause I’ll be standing by To be there when you’re scared and you don’t know why That’s why they call it pain To live with my regrets And know that you will always be the best And know that you will always be the best I said goodbye to And when it’s right You can look back on the pain And look back on the love You learn in letting go

about

Big Bad's second full length album

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released August 13, 2021

Diet Pop Records 2021
Songs written and performed by Big Bad
Recorded and Mixed by Ryan Bram at Homewrecker Studios
Mastered by Carl Saff at Saff Mastering
Album artwork by Andrew Parker

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Big Bad Tucson, Arizona

"Big Bad technically hails from Tucson, Arizona, but musically they are closer to Gainesville pop-punk. Songwriter Tim Milner creates absurdly catchy and lyrically mindful songs while cutting the fat and keeping them under 2 minutes each. In your face distortion and gang vocals blend perfectly with shared lead vocals and harmonies." - Diet Pop Records

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